First Published: 26/11/2014

Pervert/Disco Dog

Once again The Dragon is causing me upset by ‘dissing’ me.  I’d 
gotten used to her referring to me as the black bin bag and even the 
banker – spelled with a ‘w’.  However, her new name is totally uncalled 
for!  I still remember, although she has probably conveniently 
forgotten, when I first came here to the farm, one of the first things 
that happened was a visit to the vet.  When I woke up, things were 
missing.  Now when I meet other dogs, I feel obliged to sniff them all 
over.  The Dragon always apologises to the other dog walkers, ‘Sorry, 
ignore him, he’s a pervert’.  Why can’t she see I’m not a perv, I’m just 
checking that some other dog is not wearing my missing bits and 
pieces?!  I love it when the lady dogs roll over and show me their 
tummies, but I don’t really know why.

      She sometimes walks me at night when it is pitch black – like me.  
She got fed up of misplacing me in the gloom, so she bought me a special 
collar to wear after dark. It is florescent. To this hideous collar she 
has attached a small globe which flashes alternately bright blue and 
red. So I either look like a police dog with my ‘blues and twos’ going, 
or I look like I am wearing a strobe light from a nightclub.  So DON’T 
call me pervert – I’m DISCO DOG!

Peace and Love Man, peace and love.  Pim

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